My motto in life

"Love , live, be productive
and experiment; Life is like a playground"

People often blame their negative behavior, attitude or negative actions on their bad experiences in life. Now I'm not neglecting the psychological explanations and facts which say that a person can experience traumas and flashback and disorders from certain happenings in life, but what I AM saying is that we should take those experiences and traumas by the hand and get busy using them instead of letting them destroy us.

I think that's a new quote: "Instead of letting traumas abuse you, YOU abuse them first!"

I may have discovered through personal experience, that it is indeed possible to change your atitude in life, despite the rough past and tough ordeals. This is by simply just living life in a productive and healthy way. I said productive.. What did I mean by that?

Two amazing doctors in psychology opened my eyes up to some amazing facts about life. They told me that life is merely but a playground. A playground for us to experiment on.

In the beginning I didn't quiet understand what they meant by that. But as days passed by, I started to build up my own understanding of it- applying my own life situation to it. I literally started experimenting on my ordeals. I went down to the super market and I bought a neat little note book in which I started to write down my experiments and outcomes. Which experiments failed and which succeeded. Don't get me wrong, because the experiments which failed were not crossed off the list. I kept redoing them untill I managed, and when I managed I had gotten more answers out of them than the ones which were a success from the first try.

I'll give you a plain example: 

Problem: Hanna has a issue with her mother. They are often in a conflict with each other and she doesn't know how to communicate with her. Her mother often seems to misunderstand Hanna. 

Thing's to consider: what is my role in this problem? What to I expect? What am I to do to make it better? 

What is my main goal?: To satisfy Allah swt, and to have a good relationship with my mother. 

Thing's to do: I will read about What Allah swt says about parent in islam, in order to gain motivation and understandment. This is how I get closer to Allah swt. I will ask myself where I do wrong, and I will try approaching mum in a different way

Experiment1: I approached mum as she was in a rush preparing the dinner and started talking to her directly about the issue. She got frustrated and we ended up fighting.

Experiment1: Failed

Conclusion: Bad timing. And I should probably not have rushed with the topic.

Experiment 2: I approached mum with a smile and asked hew how she is doing. She looked happy and relaxed. I thought that it was a great moment to open up the sensitive topic with her so I did. She got anoyed because I ruined her mood. 

Experiment2: Failed

Conclusion: I shouldn't have rushed!

Experiment3. I approached mum. She was relaxing and enjoying a book. I asked her how she was doing and she seemed happy because of my question. I asked her what the book is about and she started to explain enthusiastically. She asked me how I was doing and I told her that I'm fine, but that there was something worrying me. She automatically left her book and turned her attention towards me. I told her I love her very much and that it hurts me when we fight. She recieved my message with calmness and understatement. 

Experiment3: Suceeded! 

Conclusion: It took me 3 times to do the right things. I should be more observant of my mother's emotions and not rush into thinking that I am the only one suffering in this matter. When I gave her my time and attention, she automatically gave me her's. 

There can be lot's of different issues catching up with people, but what is important is that we know where we have ourselves and what our goal really is.

The sentence: "Be productive" has a very beautiful definition. What it basically means is that one should put his or her ordeals and hardships into use. Into action. I realize now that everything lays in our hands. We have options.. To either cry over the past or to put it into use. To help someone else. To write a theory. To come up with a discovery about the human nature. To invent new ways of healing ourselves from negativity... it's all in OUR power- with Allah's help of course.

Just sayen :)..

Peace and God bless