A Chat with my husband

 

Assalamu alaikom and Hi to the non- muslim Readers. 

Bismillahi rrahman Raheem

Lazy, demotivated, depressed!?

Oh, those three words of illness must be the worst to a healthy and strong person! Did you say: "Been there, done that and now i'm better."? Then I suggest you still continue reading, because this will be a reminder for you, how not to repeat the same mistakes again. It will also be of benefit to others who you share this talk/text with. May it be of benefit to all Muslims. Ameen.

It always seems like you've nothing to do while you're in the state of "the three words". Every morning seems pointless, every day seems worthless and everything that used to make you feel happy does not give you any joy anymore. Maybe you are of those who also feel like there's too much to do which you will never manage with, because you simply have no motivation-or will at all.

When you find yourself idle, prepare for depression and despair. People who allow themselves idleness are most likely to spread rumors, step over sins through TV and computers and commit other sins. This is because their minds are devoid of beneficial thoughts. Idleness allows your mind to wander in the past, the future and the present in all of their difficulties.

Perhaps you are going through something a little different than just boredom or demotivation- problems, but that doesn't change the fact that  Idleness-from whatsoever issue it appears- is a slow and veiled form of suicide. So inshAllah keep reading and may it be beneficial for you. 

We all need to get out of this evil circle of negativity and shine through life! We live only once, which means that we only get one chance to earn a good hereafter. So, how can we let a day get wasted where we do nothing at all?  And how can we have TIME for laziness and sadness? Maybe Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, Atheists ect do not agree upon who created us and how we were created, however there is one thing that we all agree upon-humans as animals- that death has no age, has no pardon, has not time. Do we perhaps know the date of our death? It might be in a few seconds, or in 10 years, and how much have we achieved in life?

Idleness has never done a person any good. As a matter of fact, it is even used and considered as a punishment. What is the actual concept of prisoning and jailing criminals?- Isolation and idleness. Have we seen how the prisoners scratch the wall? How they circle around a table? How they make holes in the floor?- just to keep themselves busy. It lays in our nature to be active. It is how Allah swt created us. A person is in need of doing something in order to stay healthy, sane and complete.

Dr A'id Al-Qarni said in his book:

 In China:

They (The prisoners) are placed under a tap,  from which a drop of water falls only after every hour. During the period of waiting between drops, many of them lose their minds and are driven to insanity.

 He also said: 

Being inactivate means being negligent of one's duties. Idleness is an expert thief and your mind is the victim.

SubhanAllah. This is why we should destroy boredom with work! As soon as you feel like you will be doing nothing throughout the day, get up and say a prayer: Prais your Lord, say dhikr, write, read a book, go out and join your sisters for a picnic or a walk. Organize your library, bake some delicious food,  or go out and benefit others. All so that you can put an end to your inactivity. 

What should we do in order to start feeling positive? 

Start counting your blessings!

  

Health and looks

Imagine if you had as much as a tooth ache; wouldn't it keep you from sleeping, give you troubles eating, make you nervous and sad, distract you from prayer, and be in the way overall for almost many many things?

Now imagine if you had a breathing problem or a skin disease. If you were bound to a wheel chair or paralyzed in some of your body parts? What if you were blind or deaf, or bald or bulimic? How would you feel? I know people with such problems, and they are probably a lot happier and grateful than most of us today.

So look at you now, you are strong and beautiful, you are healthy and well, so why don't you use these blessings and gifts from Allah swt to do good with?

Wealth and money

Have you ever stood outside in the cold rain, waiting for a buss for almost 40 minutes while you were freezing and wet and just longed to come home?

Well some people have no home to come too. No bed to sleep in. No clothes to dress. No washroom to shower in or perform their toilet-needs in. Some people live out on the street not being able to feed their dying children, and they watch them die in their arms. Some people lay on the cold stones or the cold street while rain flushes down upon them, while snow ices their body parts to a point where they loose their senses. These people are allowed to be SAD.... but you and I are not. We have a cozy bed, a roof above our heads, a heater to warm us, a blanket to sweep around our bodies. We've got a washroom, a toilet and perhaps even our own room?    

Food:

How about we remember the days where we were so hungry to the point that we said: "I'm starving"-not literally inshAllah. Well I can tell you that you do not even know what "starving" means, because when you've said that sentence you said it without worries, without sadness knowing that sooner or later you will be satisfying your hunger. We are in the month of Ramadan as I am writing this text, and we get to feel hungry during the month, but this is only hunger....not starvation...NOT starvation. When iftar comes we'll be filling our stomachs to the maximum with goods and sweets, and we'll be smiling and laughing due to our satisfaction unlike the poor people around the world. 

 A leading Mufti in Saudi Arabia was bought to tears on Live TV when he recieved a question from Somalia:
"Is my Fast accepted if we have no Sehri or Iftaar?"

 You see, THEY can allow themselves to be sad while YOU cannot!

Safety: 

Go out, enjoy the peace, enjoy the sun, enjoy the snow or the rain. Smile. Why? Because you can. 

Have you heard about the Muslims in Burma? Being killed every single day. Or about Palestine?- the country where rain is replaced with bombs the sun with explosions and clouds with pollution. Have you heard about Syria where people are being killed by their OWN? If you ever catch yourself feeling like you have nothing to do and your life "sucks", let this fact put a smile on your face and hope in your heart; at least you've got freedom and safety..

ect, ect, ect ...

❋And if you would count the graces of Allah (swt), never could you be able to count them" 

(Qur'an 14:34)❋

The list can go on and on, but what I want you to know is that one thing should always make you feel better; this is what keeps the poor alive, the oppressed hopeful and the dead ones smiling... We are MUSLIMS, and we are never alone.

  

❋Then which of the blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and man) deny?❋ 

(Qur'an 55:13)

You may be 13-26 years old, and you may be thinking: "What can I do in such a young age? When i grow older I'll do great stuff". But do you not know that Allah swt will be asking us about the time we spent during our youth specifically? This is the age of our lives where we are healthy and young. This is the time of our lives where we are capable of achieving great things in Allah's name! When we get older we'll get weaker, more occupied with family or health issues. The youth is also an ordeal to us, because we might choose to fall in love with Dunya(the material world) and neglect the rules of Allah swt. 

Allah swt has promised a reward for those people who used to worship Allah swt in their youth; A shade on the day of judgement when the sun will be burning hot. !

If you'd like to read more about this you can enter this url: http://www.islamcan.com/youth/making-use-of-our-youth.shtml

Giving charity:

Doing good to others gives comfort to the heart", said Aid Al-Qarni. He continues in his book:"The first person who benefits from an act of charity is the benefactor himself, by seeing changes in himself and in his manners, by finding peace, by watching a smile form on the lips of another person." So if you are facing hard times, you are in deep ordeals, you are faced with distress, go out and help someone out. Visit someone sick, or give to the needy. SubhanAllah even as much as smiling to another person is charity!

The Prophet Muhammad saws said: "Do not dismiss certain acts of kindness by deeming them to be insignificant, even if such an act is to meet your brother with a smiling face (for that is a deed which might way heavily in your scale of deeds)"

Do things which make you happy

I often tell people "start sewing, start baking, start beading, start writing, start exercising, start playing with clay, start a blog" Because these are the things that I know make me happy! Unfortunately many times I get answers like: "I can't sew, I can't bake, I don't know how to bead, I can' write, I don't feel for exercising, clay is sticky, blogging is boring!"- where to I answer: "start learning and willing". 

If you have a negative attitude towards everything, you won't achieve anything! My twin sister always used to tell me "Where there is a will, there is a way" And I loved her motto. If you feel like you don't know how to do anything, you should be asking yourself this question: "What have you wasted your life doing all this time?" 

This is why you should look for your inner talents and do the things you love to do, because that will bring some joy and positivity into your mind and heart :)

Advices from my husband:

I am currently doing a project for da'wa, and I often feel like I just cannot get any inspiration nor motivation to write. I am simply waiting for the "feeling" to pop up out of nowhere. So, yesterday my husband found this text/blog and he sent it to me over chat. I found is so inspiring and useful that it made me think differently about goals, motivation, will and inspiration;

Do not believe those who try to persuade you that composition is only a cold exercise of the intellect. The only music capable of moving and touching us is that which flows from the depths of a composer’s soul when he is stirred by inspiration. There is no doubt that even the greatest musical geniuses have sometimes worked without inspiration. This guest does not always respond to the first invitation. We must always work, and a self-respecting artist must not fold his hands on the pretext that he is not in the mood. If we wait for the mood, without endeavouring to meet it half-way, we easily become indolent and apathetic. We must be patient, and believe that inspiration will come to those who can master their disinclination.

A few days ago I told you I was working every day without any real inspiration. Had I given way to my disinclination, undoubtedly I should have drifted into a long period of idleness. But my patience and faith did not fail me, and to-day I felt that inexplicable glow of inspiration of which I told you; thanks to which I know beforehand that whatever I write to-day will have power to make an impression, and to touch the hearts of those who hear it. I hope you will not think I am indulging in self-laudation, if I tell you that I very seldom suffer from this disinclination to work. I believe the reason for this is that I am naturally patient. I have learnt to master myself, and I am glad I have not followed in the steps of some of my Russian colleagues, who have no self-confidence and are so impatient that at the least difficulty they are ready to throw up the sponge. This is why, in spite of great gifts, they accomplish so little, and that in an amateur way.

My husband then continued sharing these inspiring facts with me throughout the chat conversation. (which was the actual reason to why i got so inspired to write this blog today) In the chat he is talking about a man who invented WD-40. It's a spray for rusty metal and the man's name was Norm Larsen:

Husband: did you ever hear about something called WD-40?

  its a spray

12:37 PM which people use to spray on things that are rusty. F.ex a keyhole so that the key slides inside easily

  or on a hinge of a door so that the door wont squeak.

  Did u hear about it?

 Mekii: I didn't hear about it

12:38 PM Husband: we have it at home

  it's a blue can

  -spray

  looks a bit like the cockroach killing spray

  but anyway

  I'm telling u about it

  because,

  its called WD-40

 Mekii: ok?

 Husband: it was discovered by a guy

  who thought that water would do what that spray does.

12:39 PM Because when a door hinge is dry

  it squeaks

  or when the keyhole is getting old, the key goes inside with a hustle

  so he wanted to discover a same substance as water

  which does not evaporate

  like oil

  so he kept doing chemical experiments over and over

  until he found that chemical formula he was looking for

  and this is why its called

12:40 PM WD-40

  "Water Displacement, trial number 40"

  he did 40 lab tests

  and chemical reactions

  and recorded the fails

  after each one

  He kept improving on it

  to find this spray

  which we use on "squeaking" metal

 Mekii: wow..

12:41 PM 

 Husband: I will show it to you when i'm home

 Merjem: o.O he was really eager

 Husband: http://www.wd40.com/:

WD-40 literally stands for Water Displacement, 40th formula. That's the name straight out of the lab book used by the chemist who developed the product back in 1953. The chemist, Norm Larsen, was attempting to concoct a formula to prevent corrosion—a task which is done by displacing water. Norm's persistence paid off when he perfected the formula on his 40th try.

  that's what facts say on the website.

  so imagine Mekii

  on such a small cheap product-

12:43 PM which we here at my work throw out every day after we've finished it

  -it took that guy 40 trials

  to discover it

  he tried

  and failed

  and he had to figure out why he failed

  and then tried again

  just to fail again!

  Imagine if it was me or u

  if we only rely on our motivation to do things

  we would have given up the idea after the 5th trial maybe

12:44 PM Mekii: yea... if one only relies on his/her motivation skills she/he really would fail.

12:45 PM Husband: they say he was born in Chicago in 1923

12:47 PM Merjem: oh then he must still be alive..

Husband: He died in 1970

  which means he lived for 47 years

12:50 PM so subhanAllah

  look

  in 47 years

  he managed to discover something

  and it was only by trying and failing

  and Mekii

   all those people who try and fail

  omg

  they cant have had high motivations and so much believe in themselves ALL the time

  There were points where they questioned what they are doing

  if its right

12:51 PM if its useful

  if its worth it

  but with all this questioning going on

  they never stopped doing what they did and they never gave up

12:54 PM Merjem:Oh, this was amazing facts! JazakAllahu kheir dear! This is so useful!  

 Jazak Allah kheir for reading. I hope inshAllah that this post was of use to you, I know for sure that it got me smiling all day after I was done writing it .

Do not hesitate to read A'id al-Qarni's book "Don't be sad" i recommend it strongly if you are in need of a kick of joy.

Leave a comment and tell me what you think inshAllah :) Enjoy the rest of my blog!